We are very unhappy here at the Mark of the Mask Foundation. For one thing, Jonathan Ross has been in exile in America, where he walks Main Street on a mission to return. And so he will, but he has lost pay. This must be corrected, I would hope that some money can be taken out of other things, like the NHS, and given to this hero of the society. Why are we giving money to sick people when there are cool people like Jonathan Ross losing dosh?
There are other reasons to be depressed as sell. The girl in the top image, Tam sin Omond, has not been able to pull off any more protests and has not made her own multi-million pound deal. In fact, lots of impolite bloggers have been making some quite disparaging remarks, especially over at www.hempforvictory.blogpost.com and www.schmoontherun.blogspot.com Is he on the run for something he said? Schmoo better hope we do not catch up with him!
And then there was a real shock at the end of last year, when we found out that the Queen made a big mistake and honoured six people for their heroism on 7/7 - but NO MENTION OF RACHEL NORTH! What kind of queen is this, and that is queen with a small q...
We're sick of people like William Rodriguez and Woody Harrelson getting all the attention for saving lives and environmental activism, we want RACHEL NORTH and TAMSIN OMOND to rule! Rule! That means, get Betty Windsor another job and let's have some real Queens (with a capital Q - and I do not mean Elton John) to rule for a long long time! Move over rocket man and anyone else, the Ski Mask Society is here to make sure we get respect for our people, especially rich kids!

Recently Jonathan Ross has been attacked! He made some very funny jokes about a Satanic Slut his friend Russel Brand screwed over a couch, and then did a public service by calling the girl's grandfather live on radio to let him know. For this he deserves a raise, we are starting to take a collection because not only did he not get a raise, but he got laid off for weeks. Imagine. We need to make this a priority and raise £16,000 a day to cover his losses. Eat less. Buy less. Send your money to the Ross Cause, a non-registered charity audited by Doofus McDoofus. We cannot just let him go without.
We do not need petitions for people like Gary Mckinnon or Kerry Howes, don't worry about them, they can get screwed in US jails and rot, but we have a real emergency here with Jonathan Ross. Help us out. Give till you got nothing left, then go rob a deli and give some more.

THE WEED IS GONNA GET WHACKED!

This here is a field of mary -j- wanna. The evil weed. There are some folks think just cause we can make rope and paper and medicine and food and other useful items from it we ought to grow it. Dirt like George Washington think like that - Thomas Jefferson - but we have George Bush and not these founding father guys to lead the Homeland. So the homeland will be hemp free, and people elsewhere like Kenyon Gibson who write about this on hemp blogs are our enemy. But we have other enemies. Just think, there is going to be an article on hemp in the Ecologist. So we may want to do a protest outside their offices in London, and then we will head to the BBC to demand more money for Jonathan Ross. The Ross Cause is not forgotten.

And other causes are not forgotten either. We have our eyes on the law lords who are not bowing the the US and sending over innocent citizens - now they are deliberating the cause of Gary Mckinnon, and we would like to see him sent over to set a precedent so we can get more people in orange jumps suits. And these will not be made of hemp.

We want more SUVs on the streets and boots on the ground in Eye-raq. We do not want electric cars and solar powered turbines. Or other alternatives to energy.

Remeber the good ol' days when men sent their wives to get raped on the wedding night to the Lord of the land? Droits de seigneur. I say have them back again and let's shut up all these environmentalists. We can allow some of them to work, for instance, those who want to grow more cotton. Since this will deplete the water supply, then people will get more humble and we can bring back all those good laws. Really cool people and people like Jonathan Ross will make more money and we will have won.

~Welcome to the Mark of the Mask!

We here at Mask are dedicated to causes that are often overlooked, we are dedicated to obtaining justice in society.

Not afraid to stand up for our beliefs, we will be hitting London in ski masks with flash protests during working hours.

Look for our team on a street near you. We are planning our first event near the BBC offices on Aldwych, where we will protest the low pay doled out to Jonathan Ross. The Ross Cause has got to be our first mission! This man is taking home a mere £18m. Think about that. It's just not enough.

Though our lobbying we aim to establish a charity for him and other underpaid celebrities.
With our sound policies, such as the laying off of more BBC workers, we aim to set aside money
for his pay raise, which we hope will be soon!

Anyone wishing to join us and establish a more just society can do so by giving us your name and address on the comments. We will be happy to get in touch with like-minded people.

The Ross Cause is not our only mission. There is much work to be done. There is, for instance, the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. We wish to expand the powers of the US so that the families of the men in prison can be charged rent for their stay. No freeloading here. This has got to stop.

And then there is the issue of the UK not wanting to hand over its citizens to the USA. So what if there is no evidence to indict them? The US does not need evidence, the word of a snitch is enough to issue an extradition warrant. We are grateful to the MPs such as John Reid and Joan Ryan who think like us and got rid of 2,000 years of legal precedent. They helped pass the bill which allows for the US to take British citizens who are otherwise law abiding and put them in prison for a long long time. It also allows for trials without evidence, which saves society a lot of money, which could be put to better purposes, like pay raises for Jonathan Ross.

We have it all worked out! Come and join us!

Mark Ski,
Chair of the Ski Mask Society

From a secret location in London
(believed by some to be near Grosvenor Square)