Monday 28 June 2010

BEDBUGS and the HOTEL VIGILANT

Some people hate bedbugs....however, we here at Mark of the Mask want to take the time to introduce you to those how really love them. Yumin Management!
They are run by a really lovely chap named Simon, who keep a hotel full of them. He makes sure conditions are just right for them, providing them the filth they need, + human hosts so they can suck blood. He runs a hotel called the Vigilant at 370 Eighth Avenue in Manhattan, Zip Code 10001.
He is so zealous that he does not even put tops no garbage cans; that way, mice can run free in them, eating and breeding, while they too carry bedbugs - as well as fleas and lice. Even a court order from 10 June of this year has so far been left unheeded. Who the hell is the DHCR in NYC to tell Simon to clean up? The smell of shit hits you in the face when you walk in sometimes...It's like perfume to him and his cousin, who is also zealous for the bugs.
Once, when a veteran of the Afghan war came and tried to clean, they kicked him out at 3am in the morning. If you don't like bedbugs, stay out...The vet, who said the place was worse than any third world country he had seen, was caught by the manager with his bed taken apart and a box full of cleaning equipment. That was it. The Yumin Management team went into action in a move that protected lots of bedbugs from being killed by this soldier - who was given his money back + $10 for the cleaning supplies, and told to hit the road.
Two Abercrombie & Fitch stores have had to close in Manhattan recently on account of bedbugs, and Upper East Siders have had to spend as much as $70,000 to clean their apartments after bedbug infestations...but just think, these places may have had relatives of the Vigilant Hotel bedbugs!
Which is a bit of a victory for bedbug lovers...and perhaps keeps Simon going strong, with the tops off of garbage cans, rodents shitting on the ceilings of the rooms - the ceilings are made of wire mesh, so the shit disinegrates and gets into people's lungs - another touch Simon may be proud of...Some people, like Burl and Desiree Mathias, a brother and sister staying at a Motel 6 in Chicago who were awarded $372,000 in punitive damages and $10,000 in actual damages after being bitten by bedbugs during their stay, may not like what goes on at the Vigilant, but no NYC official is going to take any action...a letter to the Mayor by Abercrombie & Fitch was ignored basically, so this is really really super duper good news...it means no one is going to do anything to stop Simon from being the # 1 BEDBUG PRODUCER IN THE WORLD! It may destroy the tourism industry in the city, it may start spreading disease, as these bugs are known to mutate so as to develop great sensivity to pathogens, but let not the mayor or his elected officials do anything to stop Simon and Yumin! Jihadis, and the Ski Mask Society, REJOICE! Imagine the city crawling with bedbugs while hapless city officials (remember Fletcher Vlandenburg?) do nothing but play....

This is Ski Mask Utopia...Simon is one of the best, better even than 'judge' Robin Shears who put a woman in jail for refusing to send her son to spend time at a prison with a serial rapist...eventually, we lost that round, but we can win on BEDBUGS! We love you Simon as you destroy your hotel and who knows how many other businesses in NYC!