The northern nation of Norway has joined our Ski Mask International Team: SMIT. Welcome to our new SMIT member. We have alerted the entire SMIT team to the new threat from cannabis - endestin. It is not in the weed, it is in the seed. But the Norwegian police are onto it. Last month a suspect package arrived through the post, and it looked like any other innocent package containing porn or some other legal contents. But this one posed danger to society. Sent from Global Hemp, it contained seeds of the deadly weed, Cannabis sativa: hemp. Worse than smack or crack. This was the real thing, hemp. And so the SMIT team alerted the Norwegian SWAT teams who rose from their slumber, donned their Ski Mask Society uniforms and went on the rampage. SMIT and SWAT saved the day. It turned out that the seeds contained protein, and not just any protein, it had edistin. 65% of the protein in the seeds, or achenes as some pedantic botanist might call them, is edistin. But we're not fooled by the incredible edible edistin schtick, we know this is a danger to society. So thankfully, after a 7 hour siege, the package was sent back to Global Hemp. We are not relaxing security at this point though, the whole nation is now on green alert for more of these edistin containing hemp seeds.
Tune in next week for more of the adventures of SMIT and the anti-hemp brigade, which expects any minute to bust the likes of bloggers who promote hemp on sites such as Minawear, GeoMio, The Hemp Shop, and Hemp for Victory.

Tune in next week for more exciting adventures of the anti-hemp brigade, Tamsin Omond, Jonathan Ross and the Primrose Hill Society Brat Pack.

THE WEED IS GONNA GET WHACKED!

This here is a field of mary -j- wanna. The evil weed. There are some folks think just cause we can make rope and paper and medicine and food and other useful items from it we ought to grow it. Dirt like George Washington think like that - Thomas Jefferson - but we have George Bush and not these founding father guys to lead the Homeland. So the homeland will be hemp free, and people elsewhere like Kenyon Gibson who write about this on hemp blogs are our enemy. But we have other enemies. Just think, there is going to be an article on hemp in the Ecologist. So we may want to do a protest outside their offices in London, and then we will head to the BBC to demand more money for Jonathan Ross. The Ross Cause is not forgotten.

And other causes are not forgotten either. We have our eyes on the law lords who are not bowing the the US and sending over innocent citizens - now they are deliberating the cause of Gary Mckinnon, and we would like to see him sent over to set a precedent so we can get more people in orange jumps suits. And these will not be made of hemp.

We want more SUVs on the streets and boots on the ground in Eye-raq. We do not want electric cars and solar powered turbines. Or other alternatives to energy.

Remeber the good ol' days when men sent their wives to get raped on the wedding night to the Lord of the land? Droits de seigneur. I say have them back again and let's shut up all these environmentalists. We can allow some of them to work, for instance, those who want to grow more cotton. Since this will deplete the water supply, then people will get more humble and we can bring back all those good laws. Really cool people and people like Jonathan Ross will make more money and we will have won.